Validation

 I read an awesome essay yesterday by Anne Tyler titled "Still Just Writing". I had been wondering earlier in the day if there was anyone else out there in the world that was living a life like mine that was frustrated by the inability to produce anything creativily due to the decision to have children.  Jackpot! Bingo! There she was. I knew there had to be others, but in this essay Anne Tyler almost describes my life word for word. She has a husband who leaves at 5:30 every morning, makes most of the regular income and she stays home, tries to write and takes care of all the chores related to the house, pets, children, etc. I was amazed.

It's not just me that can't write when the kids are home. There are constant distractions, band-aids, snacks, homework, repairmen, deliveries, school functions, snow days that hamper the desire and ability to write. I have learned through the years that I just give in to the demands and save the writing for my time when there is no one to disturb my train of thought. At first I felt guilty for not doing what I wanted to do, but over time I realized that if I give my full attention to the kids when they are home I am happier and they are happier. I am not yelling at them to be quite or to get their own snack. They are not distracting me from my work. We are all happier if I just go with the flow and work when they are not home. Anne Tyler says the same exact thing.

It's a difficult line to walk. There are days when I have no time to myself and I have to learn to just write that day off as a day that was spent helping the children and realize that there will be days in the future that will be all mine. For now they come first and my time is what ever is left over. Soon enough they will all be off at school and the days will be endless and I will wonder how to fill them all up.

My schedule will always have to be felxible since my husband's is not. I will always be able to stop my work to be there for the kids. That is why I find work that I dictate the schedule. I have chosen to be a creative person. I have chosen to write and to document this time and this place and I will do it mostly between Labor Day and Memorial Day. I am glad to see that I am not the only one who has made that decision.