Fiction vs. Non-fiction

I write everyday. I write 3 different blogs. I write an almost daily diary that inspires most of my posts for my blog entries. I write mad letters to people I would never have the guts to say things out loud to. I write my husband love letters and I'm severely disapponited in you letters. I write business correspondence and personal correspondence.

I've written my entire life. I remember writing everytime that I was in love. When I was in the 8th grade I wrote a complete story chronicling my one sided love affair with a Mr. David Duensing. In highschool I wrote about the mad love I had for my first boyfriend. I hated him and I loved him and we were constantly fighting, but we were madly in love. In college I wrote about how frustrated I was with my boyfriend. I never understood his actions and only 15 years later when I reread all the pages and learned that he had figured out that he was gay did it all make sense. After college I wrote about my move to Los Angeles and how bewildering it all was compared to life in small towns in Illinois. And then I wrote about meeting the love of my life in a small club in Santa Ana.

None of those were diary entries. They were the ravings of a crazy girl in love who was trying to figure out her emotions and where her place in the world was.

I"m still trying to find my place. I've given up one career and I'm trying to find out what is next. I'm confused, frustrated, and still bewildered. Writing helps me find my place. It helps me to figure out where I am and where I'm going. Maybe it will be 15 years from now beforeI figure it all out, but here it is written out for me now to look over everyday and see what's going on it my mind. I share all of this with you. I don't know you, but you know life and mine is like many others. I write in the hope that somewhere out there someone will read this and know how I feel and they will feel better about how they feel and how they live their lives.

So in writing all this I am trying to figure out what it is that I am supposed to write. I can comment endlessly on my own life. I can comment on other people's lives and the choices they've made. I can comment on other writer's stories... if I was entertained, bored, titillated. I have tons of ideas  for stories in my head. I try and get them down on paper, but I'm just not good at it yet. I get frustrated and then jsut slip back into myself and my life and my commentary.
How do you know if you are meant for fiction or non-fiction? I'll keep practicing with my fiction, but I think what I really love is just writing about life. True Life. Where is the audience for that other than in blogs? I'm still trying to figure it all out and this is where I'm going to do it.