Writing instead of reading?

Even though this blog is titled reading AND writing at 7000 ft, I rarely if ever actually write. I am tortured daily by this lack of writing. I know I should be writing and I don't.
Frankly, I'm scared to.
It is a constant source of anxiety for me. And I am already overly anxious to begin with.
Ideas and stories come to me constantly. I write them down. I don't write them. I read a horrible novel and I am shamed by the fact that that author could do it and I can't.
I can't sit down and see what comes out of my fingers. I can do these few paragraphs, but nothing more. After writing this the guilt and anxiety will fade for a little while, but the next morning it will be there and then it becomes a circle of anxiety that I can't get out of.
I know I feel better when I write. I've done it in the past and been very satisfied with what I've written, but I can't put it out there to be read.
This is out there, but I dont' tell anyone about it and then I get upset when there are only 3 page views in a week and I feel like what is the point of writing if no one is out there to read it.
I can't have it both ways. I either want an audience or I don't.
I am trying so hard to break out of this circle. I want an audience. I want people to see what I write. I want people to read my stuff and feel something, even if it is hate and malice for my failed attempt at writing.
I've read all the writing books and advice columns that say in order to get over your fear of writing all you have to do is sit down and write, but there is nothing scarier.
And then after it's written... then what? Where should it go? Who should read it? Is it publishable?
It is just too overwhelming for me to even think about.
I'm safe here in my little unknown blog. There is no judgement and there are no readers.